Are you a bride that has come to the planning stage for your rehearsal dinner but find it so awkward to talk about with the in-laws? After all, it’s not your money or family, YET, so you don’t want to step on toes. This is a very common emotion for a bride, and as an experienced bride myself, I would love to give you a few tips on how to make this process easier for you and your new mother-in-law. And, ladies…. if you absolutely LOVE your future-in-law’s plans for the dinner, stop reading now. Otherwise, you need to…
Face this problem head on.
TRANSLATION: Establish the budget! Figure out the amount they are wanting/willing to spend, and make your catering/restaurant/venue choices based on that.
Note: If you are not OK with the budget that your in-laws have set, that is fine, but you will look like a spoiled princess if you speak u[p and stomp your feet. Just think about it. Is that how you want to start? Truth hurts, I know.
Talk about the number of guests.
Not only does this factor into the budget, but there is a serious gray area on who is invited. Out of town guests? How much family do you include? Just the bridal party? There is no right answer. Your parents will have an opinion, and it may possibly be different from your fiancé’s parents’ opinion. I recommend that you cap the invite list at the grandparents for family, of course the bridal party. You may include the out of town guests IF they want to come. Typically, that’s a good starting point and can vary based on family size and budget.
Share the wedding Pinterest board with your new mom-in-law. This will help her to get a feel for the style you are going for. If that doesn’t work, then keep that ol’ flask from college in your purse’s hidden compartment. You’ll make it through, I promise.
And here is a quick tip for the fiancés.
Since you know your parents best, and will obviously be caught in the middle. Try easing any tension by getting every deciding party in the room, and talking about, yes, compromise.
It does exist.
The rehearsal dinner may not be perfect. But that is what the wedding day is for, ladies. Don’t spend this big event in your life stressing and hoping for perfection, that is not what it’s about. It is about your love and being with the man of your dreams for the rest of your life.