EXCLUSIVE | That Meat Is Greasy

“That meat is greasy.” What does this even mean? Thanks to Google, I was able to gain a little more insight on the phrase. According to the first website that Google referenced at the top of my search when I typed in ”What does that meat is greasy mean?”, TheKitchn.com presented me with a post titled, 10 Southern Sayings Everyone Should Embrace in which it references the term ”You don’t believe fat meat’s greasy.” This website defines the phrase as meaning the person is hard headed. Waywordradio.org presented me with an article titled Learning That Fat Meat Is Greasy. After reading both of these articles, I came to the conclusion that the phrase used by the judge was in reference to “fat meat is greasy,” and after searching that exact phrase, I proceeded to the top two sites defining this phrase on google Urban Dictionary and SlangDefine.org.

(The image above was found at saltandpepperskillet.com and has nothing to do with our case, but because it looks so delicious, I you can get the recipe here!)

Urban Dictionary and SlangDefine.org equally shared the same definition:

This phrase is most commonly used when somebody has to find out the difference the hard way about something. Like saying, “You don’t believe fat meat is greasy” as in “You gonna just have to find out the hard way.” You don’t believe fat meat is greasy, do you?

This Friday we will be in front of the court for our motion filed to ask the judge to recuse him/herself.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, recusal means, the withdrawal of a judge, prosecutor, or juror from a case on the grounds that they are unqualified to perform legal duties because of a possible conflict of interest or lack of impartiality.

In this post, I will share my opinions on where impartiality or bias were present in my husband’s case which would warrant a new judge to prevent partiality in any further litigation that may ensue from the opposing party. From our experience, the relentlessness in the efforts to cripple us financially and destroy us as a family (much of which I haven’t even touched on in my Exclusives yet) lead us to believe that further motions to drag us to court will continue until Greg’s son has reached the age of 18. For the reasons I will define below, it is important that we have a judge on our case that we feel shows complete impartiality to our situation.

Just 2 of the 15 Reasons Why My Husband Filed for a Recusal (all in my opinion)

DISCLOSURE: I hesitate to speak about this case openly because, from an outsider looking in, it is so hard to believe the facts of this case. When reading these exclusives, you can’t help but wonder, “what the hell has this man done to deserve any of this?” I know when we became engaged and all of this was suddenly slapped down on the table, I looked at my husband with a side eye as well. I began questioning the same thing. Since then, a year and a half later, I have seen both sides as recorded in the official court records, that I purchased for full insight, and I assure you, while these exclusives only scratch the very surface of this trial they are all very real and jaw dropping.

Below, I will talk about 2 of the 15 reasons listed in the recusal motion that will be heard this Friday. I could list all 15, but you will see below that it could easily become a 100 page book, therefore I decided to mention 2 of the most obvious reasons. Also, if you would like to catch up on our case, read the following Exclusives:

Our First Year of Marriage

The Innocent Bystander

Be Quiet Or Else

Managing These Circumstances

Guilty Unless Proven Innocent

While not a divorce lawyer, my husband is a licensed attorney in the state of Tennessee, and in efforts to minimize the financial impact on our family, we made a decision that he would represent himself in his own defense. In order to properly prepare and review the complaint, on October 28th, 2020, my husband appeared before the court and asked for a continuance to review all evidence before going to trial. On the first day of court, the judge advised my husband that he should seek an attorney because contempt cases can result in serious outcomes, such as jail time.

After Greg and I discussed it, he felt it important to follow the judge’s recommendation as the severity of the outcome stated by the judge evoked fear, that one, his representation may not be taken seriously, two, that he may upset the judge if he does not follow his/her advise and three, that he could be thrown in jail if he did not get an attorney. [Insert name]’s counsel argued that my husband get no more time and that there should not be another continuance.

We immediately began looking for counsel. A funny side note, we first called my ex-husband to ask who his attorney was in our divorce as he seemed very personable. After meeting with that attorney, we were told that there was a conflict in representing us because he knew [insert name] and her counsel. He did recommend another attorney, which we immediately called. This attorney was able to meet with us the following week. After we met with and hired him, he began on our case. Due to the first attorney declining to take our case and the availability of our current attorney, it took us roughly two weeks to retain counsel.

On November 19th, 2020, one week after being hired, our attorney appeared before the court requesting a continuance. Given the fact that he did not have ample time to review our case, this motion was filed so that he may have the proper time to observe the complaints brought forth by [insert name] as there were up to, maybe over, 100 documents submitted to be reviewed. As anyone can imagine, we aren’t his only clients. Attorneys need proper time to review the facts of the case and any evidence presented. The way I understand it, you are allowed 30 days to review discovery of a case before trial.

Judge’s Response to our attorney’s request for a continuance to review the expansive discovery:
Mr. _________, honestly, you know, I don’t know when I have said this in a courtroom before, but he (my husband) doesn’t believe that meat is greasy. I mean that is just the truth.”

Further, “he’s going to appear before me on the 1st and I am going to give him a good talking to….”

Finally, after our attorney argued that the Rules of Civil and Criminal Procedure require that he “have a reasonable time to prepare a defense[.],” the Court granted the Continuance, but informed our attorney that the court was “laying down the law” with Greg.

The judge then insisted that Greg, absent of a conviction on any count presented by [insert name,] and even though we had not even begun the proceedings on what [insert name] was suing for, was “going to pay the [Mother’s] attorney fees for the appearance today and the appearance for October 28.”

At first look, you may not see the bias here, but let me layout the injustice in these comments.

First, the judge had not heard the facts of the case and didn’t know (or shouldn’t have known) anything about my husband, other than he was going to attempt to represent himself. To assert that my husband doesn’t believe “that meat is greasy,” or according to thekitchn.com that he is “hard-headed” and according to Urban Dictionary ”has to find out the difference the hard way,” after knowing not one fact of the case brought before him/her, shows bias against my husband. It seems the judge believes my husband is hardheaded, but on what grounds? As a matter of fact, Greg immediately went out to seek an attorney because of the judge’s direct comments. Is the meat not greasy because our attorney asked for a continuance to prepare for our defense, something all Americans have a right to?

For a judge to insinuate that someone is “hardheaded” or that ”he needs to find out the hard way” before ever hearing the facts of the case would lead any reasonable person to believe that there is bias. If you were in my husband’s shoes and heard this, assuming you are a reasonable person, would you feel hopeless and afraid that you have a target on your back before you have had any opportunity at all to defend yourself?

Furthermore, in these comments, you can see that my husband was punished and sentenced to pay for [insert name]’s attorney fees for the first two days in court. I am not a lawyer but it seems unjust to sentence a defendant to punishment absent of a guilty verdict and certainly absent of any hearing on the counts brought against him. In this specific matter, Greg followed the judge’s guidance to seek counsel, followed his attorney’s request for a continuance so that he would receive the appropriate time (30 days) to review the evidence entered against him, and was found guilty (of which I see no crime) for doing so.

For the everyday person, like you and me, this is absolutely frightening. Someone can sue you and then be awarded attorney’s fees, just because you request the time allowed by law for your case to be reviewed so that you are ensured a fair trial. Furthermore, how frightening must it be to be insulted by the judge before your trial ever begins?

Ex Parte Communications

I will make this one short and sweet.

According to criminaldefenselawyer.com, ex parte communications– one that is made by a party outside the presence of the other party. It’s any communication between a judge or juror and a party to a legal proceeding or any other person about the case made outside of the presence of the opposing party or the opposing party’s attorney.

During court on October 28th, the judge disclosed to Greg that he/she had spoken with [insert name’s] counsel, without the presence of our attorney or my husband.

After the judge disclosed that he/she had spoken with opposing counsel outside of the court room, he/she then spoke these exact words: “and mentioned that I had seen [Father’s] request for a continuance.”
He/she then stated that he/she “indicated to her [insert name’s counsel] that I was willing to grant it and let you know that I was more than likely going to grant it.”

What seems to be the problem here? The judge indicated that he/she was going to grant my husband’s motion. Sounds like we won that one right? The seriousness of this issue here is that, through the judge’s comments in the courtroom, the judge admitted to ex parte communications with the opposing counsel. This was a jaw dropper for me. The judge spoke about our case, without us present and outside of our court time, with [insert name’s] attorney about how he/she was going to rule at our next court proceeding. While we are thankful that the ruling was ultimately in our favor, we can’t help but wonder what other communications took place between the judge and [insert name’s] attorneys while we were not present.

If you were trying to defend yourself in a court case and you heard this, would you question the integrity of the case? Would you wonder what other communications had gone on about your case behind closed doors? Because the judge gave insight as to how he/she was going to rule, this could give and indication to [insert name’s] attorneys on what they need to prepare for in court. Maybe the opposing counsel would take this information and prepare a case to fight the granting of the motion which could change the judge’s mind.

As I mentioned, our motion for recusal is scheduled to be heard this Friday, in two days. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are desperate to feel like we get a fair shake in this matter. While one of the main reasons the justice system was put in place was to produce fair outcomes to the American people, I feel that fair has not been the overall theme of this case.

Hi! I'm Alexandra

I am an entrepreneur, author, and mom of 3 from Memphis, Tennessee. I fill my days pursuing the dream of being my own boss as a full time influencer and sensory marketing specialist while spending my evenings playing superheros, helping with homework, making dinner, and tucking in my littles.

Follow Along

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.