So I have spent the last 6 days in the Dominican Republic on a last minute, completely unplanned business collaboration trip. Ok, I’m not sure which is wilder, the fact that the collaboration of a lifetime has presented itself so suddenly to me, or that I unexpectedly learned three important parenting tips while on my visit to the Dominican. So how do these things tie together? Let me explain.
But First… The Surprise
This is probably going to come as a surprise to you, as it definitely came as a surprise to me in the beginning, but I have officially signed a multi-year brand partnership of my dreams. A literal prayer answered. Let me explain.
Back when I started my blog over a decade ago, I wanted to bring content to the world that was life-changing. As a matter of fact, when my blog started to grow and monetize, I remember the exact moment that I prayed to God with gratitude that I would have such a cool job but also promising him to make something more meaningful of it. Yes, connecting with amazing people, sharing my favorite products, and helping aspiring entrepreneurs on the gram’ is meaningful, but when praying that day, I had something much deeper in mind. I wanted to help the masses. I wanted to use my platform for a greater good. I wanted to create content and send messages to the world that would make the “big guy” proud. Fast-forward to today. In the past 12 months I have been burnt out with lots of changes, sharing exhausting and not so positive life stories, and chasing brands in an ever-growing influencer industry. Dare I say, but I had seriously contemplated an Instagram exit plan.
As part of my exit plan, in the beginning of 2023 I decided to launch a new business, The Aroma Haus, so that in 2 years time, this would be my new full-time jam and I wouldn’t be so financially tied to my brand deals over on Instagram. Turns out, launching The Aroma Haus was the right decision. I am so passionate about my work with scent marketing and the branding side of the biz, but I just couldn’t shake the promise I made to the man above the day I got my first paid blog gig. I felt like I failed him. Yes, of course I had grown a profitable business, but I didn’t feel like I had created REAL change. I didn’t keep my word. It was right about the time I began getting down on myself for the unfulfilled promise that the collaboration of a lifetime presented itself. A long-term collaboration that I believe will help so many.
My New Brand Collaboration
Two weeks ago, after months of getting to know the All About Parenting brand to make sure this long-term, EXCLUSIVE collaboration would be a fit for both parties, I signed a multi-year exclusive (no other brands will have paid access to my platforms after the next few months) brand deal with All About Parenting and Parents.app. The day I signed the contracted I was invite to fly out to the Dominican Republic seven days later to meet Antonia, a parenting expert who would be training me on the brand. I had come across All About Parenting in the past when frantically Googling after bouts of mom guilt or situations gone wrong and found their psychology backed content extremely helpful, but I never thought the company itself wold reach out to me to partner years later. Not only to partner, but to sign an exclusive, dream brand deal of a lifetime!
Changes and What You Can Expect
Of course I will continue to bring you beauty & fashion, business tips, and real life stuff, but I am officially adding a new vertical to my content piece, PARENTING. In the next 6 months, I will take you on my journey to getting certified with All About Parenting through their extensive parental certification course as well as create content about what I am learning along the way, and be the liaison between you and all of your parenting questions and the experts, while I train to become an expert myself! I am so grateful for this opportunity to further my undergrad focus in Psychology, especially in the realm of children and parenting. It is my promise to share everything I learn with you so that we can all fulfill our duty to raise bright, happy, strong children. Our children are our future and therefore, if we all take our parenting job seriously, we can change the world for the better, and even more important, give our sweet littles the love and skills they need to feel confident, safe, and secure in their own lives.
What I Learned While Training
This week in the Dominican I didn’t dive into the certification process just yet. I basically got to learn the landscape of the brand, meet the team, watch behind the scenes, and chat with parenting expert Antonia Cherette. (I will share her picture and bio below. She is such a lovely human and amazing soul!)
Since I had an expert at my finger tips, of course I started to ask all of the questions that keep me up at night, like “Is my lean towards authoritarian parenting style harming my kids?” “Is my youngest son developmentally normal since his learning style seems to be different from my other two boys?,” and “Am I doing a good job of formulating and delivering household rules correctly?” The answer to all three was YES, while the first one was kind of a negative yes. So here is the break down.
Is my lean towards authoritarian parenting style harming my kids?
Turns out I am more of an authoritarian parent, a style of parenting that mostly relies on punishment and reward. I am willing to bet, most parents in the south that are older than Gen Z are probably authoritarians too. You know the deal, “I’m the parent. You are the child. You have to listen to me until you are out of my house.” This style can lead to a rebellious adolescent or a child who grows up keen on letting others make their decisions for them.
The opposite end of the spectrum is the permissive parent. The permissive parent believes their role is to please their child. The permissive parent believes that the child already knows what is best for him or her and therefore they don’t really need to set structure for their child. Their reactions to their child’s behavior tend to be different depending on the day it is. This style can lead to unmotivated, irresponsible, and egocentric adults.
Both of these styles are polar opposite extremes. I really didn’t think there was any other way to parent than the two and since I was raised in an authoritarian household, I just mirrored the parenting style that I learned from my parents. ***It is important to note that our parents aren’t to blame here. They learned their parenting style from their parents and so on. There wasn’t much psychology behind parenting centuries ago, as a matter of fact Psychology is a relatively new area of study compared to other fields and therefore we are just now scratching the surface on how our actions affect others.
So what is the correct parenting style? Turns out there is a third one, Balanced Parenting. This is the type of parenting that offers both firmness and warmth for a win-win situation. Balanced parents believe that rules and principles should exist but with boundaries, limits, and warmth. This helps their children gain autonomy within the limits set so that they will not only respect and follow the rules, but will grow up to become responsible adults. Ever noticed how it seems one parent is the authoritarian and the other seems more permissive to create balance in the household? I learned this week in the Dominican that this is ultimately more harmful than good for your child. After learning this together this week, Mr. Greg and I have vowed to work on our parenting style to bring more balance into our home.
If you are wondering what type of parent you are, you can take the Free All About Parenting quiz here!
Is my child developmentally normal?
My youngest son has struggled a bit in Kindergarten this year. He would have been hitting his preschool years during covid and of course, we were all quarantined so I did my best to teach him preschool while working full time from home. About half way through is first year of Kindergarten, I realized that he was falling behind. Let me tell you, the mom guilt was horrible. I blamed myself for not teaching him the right things or being a good enough teacher during the covid years to prepare him for Kindergarten. I hired a tutor, worked with him countless hours after school, and opted in for every extra learning camp or activity that there was.
After a while, I did notice that he does learn quickly but in a completely different way than his two older brothers. His older bothers learned to read by sight seeing, however James has a hard time remembering the name of letters and words when he sees him. The oddest thing, is that he knows the sounds instantly when he looks at a letter and can sound out full sentences while still struggling to tell me the actual name of the letter he is sounding out. It was the strangest thing. I spoke with Antonia about this while in the Dominican and she introduced me to the 4 learning styles: visual, auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic.
After learning more about these styles, I discovered that James is a tactile learner. For example, to get him to remember the number 8, I taught him how to draw a Magic 8 Ball with the number 8 on the top. Then he associated drawing that Magic 8 Ball image with the number 8. I also did this with the letter D. He seemed to be having issues remembering the names for D, E, P, T, C, B. When you say them out loud, they do sound familiar. Initially when learning them individually he knew the letter, but when I would call them out loud for him to write down, he couldn’t recall which was which. He knew D says “da” and dog begins with D so I taught him how to draw a picture of a dog using the letter D. He instantly remembered it. Of course, over time these letters will be instilled in his head and he won’t need to draw these images to learn them but realizing that many children have a tactile learning style really put my mom guilt and panic to rest.
Now I feel better equipped to help him learn and to let his teachers know ahead of time that his style is a bit different from the majority of auditory and visual learners.
Am I doing a good job of formulating and delivering household rules correctly?
This is one that I am super proud of. All those nights worrying that I may not have it all figured out but I learned this week that I do have one thing figured out. While I am a warm authoritarian parent and I need to work on setting limits, when I do set hard rules, I always explain the reasoning behind my rule and this is a step in the right direction. For example, Jack wants to be able to chat with his friends playing Xbox during his gaming time. We have a rule that they can play with their friends but no auditory functions or chats will be turned on. He of course didn’t like the rule but I explained to him the very serious reasons and my concerns with people out there that may not have the best intentions. I may have gone over board with my explanation by telling him all about child predators and this is why we have rules around gaming and when he and his brothers go outside to play, but at least I am explaining to him why I am making my decisions and how these decisions help to protect him instead of just saying, “Because I said so,” which gives the impression that I don’t care about his feelings. I can honestly say that I have seen a positive change in his attitude towards a situation that he isn’t happy with when I explain why I have made the decision that he doesn’t agree with. I think he truly understands that I have his best interest at heart and he can trust me as his parent to protect him.
Whew.. 2 hours later and I have written a book! Well, not quite, but this is one of my longer posts. Anyway, I would love to learn more about your struggles with parenting in the comments below. After all, I will be hype focused on this topic as I work with All About Parenting and get certified through their parenting program over the next 10 months!
As always, thank you for following along and always being AMAZING! As promised, meet Antonia, one of All About Parentings experts and now my friend!
Antonia Cherette is a leading parenting authority, trainer, and host of the Parents App Podcast. With extensive experience and a background in education, she offers science-based solutions and practical strategies to empower parents. Antonia’s unwavering commitment and dynamic teaching style help parents create harmonious family environments, cultivate loving relationships, and unlock their child’s potential. Join her on an extraordinary journey of self-discovery for lifelong success.
Please Note: I always strive to provide accurate and helpful information, but just a quick heads-up—I’m a blogger, not a doctor, lawyer, CPA, or any other kind of certified professional. I’m here to share my experiences and insights, but please make sure to use your own judgment and consult the right professionals when needed.
Also, I accept monetary compensation through affiliate links, advertising, guest posts, and sponsored partnerships on this site, however I am very particular about the products I endorse and only do so when I am truly a fan of the quality and result of the product.
